At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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