I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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