So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
