In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
