I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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