Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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