we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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