Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
