i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
