STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
