I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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