well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
