the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
