Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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