If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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