I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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