So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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