You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
