I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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