In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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