first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
