I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
