I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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