My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
3 2 1 whiskey
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
