call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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