mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
