everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
