oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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