next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
