When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
