If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
