If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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