How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
