everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
