no, he came in my armpit
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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