The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
