OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
