sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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