the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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