I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
