his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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