Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
