Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
