I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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