i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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