carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
