found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
