i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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