Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
