When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
