please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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