I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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