But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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