a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
