my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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