I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
