we have officially mastered the walk of shame
is wine microwaveable?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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