I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
