Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
