Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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