We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
