its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
